Why?
by corysmonteith
Summary: Kurt then let out a strangled sob as Rachel began to worry. "Kurt, you're scaring me now. What's wrong?" Rachel asked, as her vision began to become blurry. "Rachel," Kurt sobbed, "Finn's dead." / RIP Cory Monteith.
1. Chapter 1

Why?

Chapter 1.

Rachel sighed as she stepped out of the shower. Her feet and back were killing her. Cassandra had really pushed her to her limit today. She wrapped a towel tightly around her body, walked to the sink and grabbed her toothbrush. As she was finishing up, she heard the front door open. "Kurt?" she shouted. "Is that you?" Getting no reply, she huffed and stomped out of the bathroom but only to be met with a pair of red, puffy eyes. "Kurt? What's the matter? Please tell me Barbara is ok," she said as she raised a hand to her chest, her heart hurting. "No, no. Barbara is ok." Kurt whimpered. Rachel sighed in relief. Kurt then let out a strangled sob as Rachel began to worry. "Kurt, you're scaring me now. What's wrong?" Rachel asked, as her vision began to become blurry. "Rachel," Kurt sobbed, "Finn's dead."

Her heart stopped. This couldn't be real. Finn wasn't dead. No, she must have heard him wrong. "W-what?" she finally managed to say. Kurt collapsed to the couch, sobs heaving from his body. "He's dead, Rachel! Gone!" he screamed at her, tears streaming down his face. "I should have been in Lima with him, Rachel. I should have been with him! My brother is dead, Rachel. He's gone!" Kurt sobbed. Rachel stared off into space. Her body was showing no emotion apart from the tears slowly streaming down her face. "How?" she asked, finally. It took a minute for Kurt to collect himself before being able to speak again. "It was a car accident. He was driving home when a drunk driver hit him. H-he died instantly." Kurt stammered. Rachel felt numb. The love of her life was dead. Gone. She closed her eyes as she held Kurt in her arms. She felt her heart break in half.

_"I was wondering why you asked me to help you with your singing? You kicked butt at the assembly."_

_Finn shrugged his shoulders. "Well, this is my one chance to be, you know, good. Like you."_

_Rachel felt her heart flutter. "You think I'm good?" she asked._

_Finn looked away, smirking. "Well when I first joined I thought you were a little insane, I mean you talked a lot more than you should and to be honest with you, I looked under the bed to, you know, make sure you weren't hanging out under there."_

_Seeing the hurt on Rachel's face, Finn quickly added, "But then I heard you sing. I don't know how to say this but it touched something in me. Right," He raised his hand to the right side of his chest, "Here."_

_Rachel smiled. "Your heart is on the other side of your chest," she said as she leaned over and moved his hand._

_"Oh," he laughed. "It's beating really hard." Rachel stared at him. "You're cool, Rachel."_

_Rachel cleared her throat. "Do you want a drink?" she asked as she turned away._

_"Yeah, sure," Finn replied, smiling. Rachel leaned over and grabbed her flask. _

_"Virgin cosmos," she told him._

_"Cool," Finn said, smiling at her. "That stuff you said at the celibacy club, that was really cool."_

_Rachel smiled at him as she handed him his drink. "Thanks," he said, gently taking the cup._

_Finn licked his lips as he watched Rachel pour herself a drink._

_"Well… Cheers!" Rachel said, laughing. "Cheers," he replied. "Cups are like the airplane cups."_

_Rachel nodded her head in agreement as she took a drink._

_"Oh," Finn started, "You got a little cosmos, right," he leaned over and placed his thumb on her upper lip, "Here."_

_Rachel stared at him, shocked._

_"You know you can kiss me if you want to…" she said._

_"I want to."_

Rachel spent the next 2 days lying in bed, crying into the sweatshirt she stole from Finn during their senior year. It still smelt like him. She missed him, so much. She thought that they were going to be together forever. She was wrong. Finn's funeral was the next day. Her and Kurt were flying out to Lima that night. She was staying with her Dad and Papa while Kurt was staying with Burt and Carole. She slowly let go of Finn's sweatshirt as she got up off her bed. She turned and looked at her clock on the nightstand, right next to the picture of her and Finn that Brittany had taken of them at Six Flags. It was 6:34 pm. Her flight was at 9. She walked to her closet, threw on some clothes and started packing. Tears streamed down her face.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Rachel walked into the church alone. Quinn was crying into Puck's arms. Puck remained still, face stiff, showing no emotion. Tina was leaning against Mike, crying. Mike held her as he cried also. Santana held Brittany's hand as they mourned together. Mercedes was sobbing into Sam's arms as he cried into her hair. Rory had flown in from Ireland, holding Sugar as she cried. Kitty was sat in Artie's lap, crying. Artie had tears streaming down his face. Blaine held a sobbing Kurt. Marley, Ryder, Unique and Jake sat together, all crying. Will held Emma as she cried into his shoulder. Will was sobbing into her hair. Hiram and Leroy Berry were trying to console a distraught Carole and Burt Hummel. Beiste held Sue as she cried. Yes, Sue was crying. Beiste also. Rachel looked around. All of Finn's family was there. His grandparents. Cousins. Aunts and uncles. Everyone. Figgins was even there, sat with his wife and kids. Rachel looked up the front of the church. It was decorated to perfection. Finn's coffin sat right in front. She slowly walked up, tears streaming down her face, and placed her hand on it as she closed her eyes.

_"I screwed up. I'm humiliated. We worked so hard on everything and I'm supposed to be this big-shot leader, holding us all together and I blew it. Cost us a championship." Finn sighed._

_"Look," Rachel started as she sat down beside him, "Being an artist is about expressing your true feelings in the moment no matter what the consequences… What were you feeling in that moment?"_

_"That I loved you. And I would have done or given anything to kiss you one more time." He replied._

_Rachel smirked. "So, you did. Gave it all up for one kiss," she laughed._

_"Yeah." He breathed out._

_"Was it worth it?" she asked._

_Finn smiled. "Yeah…" He looked at her. "What about you? Was it worth it for you?"_

_Rachel looked up at him. "Yeah.."_

_Finn smiled at her._

_"Because I know in my heart we will have another shot at Nationals. You have to know that I'm leaving, Finn."_

_Finn looked at her. "I'm going to New York and I'm never coming back." She finished._

_Finn smirked at her. "Graduations a year away. Got any plans 'til then?" He leaned over and kissed her._

Carole, Kurt and Will all got up to say some words. Both Carole and Kurt broke down. Will managed to make it through. Finally, the Glee Club, old and new members, got up to sing.

_Artie; Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show _  
_I laced the track, you locked the flow _  
_So far from hanging on the block for dough _  
_Notorious, they got to know that _  
_Life ain't always what it seem to be_  
_Words can't express what you mean to me _  
_Even though you're gone, we still a team _  
_Through your family, I'll fulfill your dream_

_Sam; In the future, can't wait to see _  
_If you open up the gates for me _  
_Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend_  
_Try to black it out, but it plays again_

_Puck; When it's real, feelings hard to conceal _  
_Cant imagine all the pain I feel _  
_Give anything to hear half your breath (Blaine; half your breath) _  
_I know you still living your life, after death _

_All; Every step I take, every move I make _  
_Every single day, every time I pray _  
_Ill be missing you _  
_Thinking of the day, when you went away _  
_What a life to take, what a bond to break _  
_Ill be missing you_

_Rory; Its kinda hard with you not around_  
_Know you in heaven smiling down_  
_Watching us while we pray for you _  
_Every day we pray for you _  
_Till the day we meet again _  
_In my heart is where I'll keep you friend _  
_Memories give me the strength I need to proceed _  
_Strength I need to believe_

_Mike; My thoughts big I just can't define  
Wish I could turn back the hands of time  
Us in the 6, shop for new clothes and kicks  
You and me taking flicks  
Making hits, stages they receive you on  
I still can't believe you're gone (Quinn; cant believe you're gone)  
Give anything to hear half your breath (Kurt; half your breath)  
I know you still living you're life, after death_

Mercedes; somebody tell me why

Tina; On that morning  
When this life is over  
I know  
Ill see your face

All; Every night I pray, every step I take  
Every move I make, every single day  
Every night I pray, every step I take  
(Artie; every day that passes)  
Every move I make, every single day  
(Artie; is a day that I get closer  
to seeing you again)  
Every night I pray, every step I take  
(Artie; we miss you big... and we wont stop)  
Every move I make, every single day  
(Artie; cause we can't stop... that's right)  
Every night I pray, every step I take  
Every move I make, every single day  
we miss you big

There wasn't a dry eye in the room. Everyone stood and clapped.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

As everyone stopped clapping, the Glee Club sat down. All except Rachel. She took a deep breath as she tried to keep the tears at bay. She needed to keep strong. For Finn. For Kurt. For Carole and Burt. For everyone. She slowly walked up to the microphone and began to sing,

_I can't win, I can't reign_  
_I will never win this game_  
_Without you, without you_  
_I am lost, I am vain,_  
_I will never be the same_  
_Without you, without you_

_I won't run, I won't fly_  
_I will never make it by_  
_Without you, without you_  
_I can't rest, I can't fight_  
_All I need is you and I,_  
_Without you, without you_

_You You You_  
_Without_  
_You You You_  
_Without you_

_I can't erase, so I'll take blame_  
_But I can't accept that we're estranged_  
_Without you, without you_  
_I can't quit now, this can't be right_  
_I can't take one more sleepless night_  
_Without you, without you_

_I won't soar, I won't climb_  
_If you're not here, I'm paralyzed_  
_Without you, without you_  
_I can't look, I'm so blind_  
_I lost my heart, I lost my mind_  
_Without you, without you_

_You You You_  
_Without_  
_You You You_  
_Without you_

_I am lost, I am vain,_  
_I will never be the same_  
_Without you, without you_  
_Without you..._

__She finished with tears rolling down her face. She looked up to see everyones reaction. Carole was staring at her with complete awe as she held on to Burt's hand tightly. Quinn was smiling gently at her as she leaned against Puck. Puck, for the first time that day, had tears streaking his handsome face. Tina, Mercedes,Rory, Sugar, Kurt, Blaine, Artie, Sam and Mike were all sobbing uncontrollably. Marley, Kitty, Unique, Ryder and Jake were all staring at her, tears in their eyes. Will was a wreck as Emma held him. Rachel smiled sadly at everyone as she stepped down, looked at the coffin, blew it a kiss and sat down.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

10 years later.

"Christopher Finn Jones, get your little butt over here this instant!" Rachel shouted at her 5 year old. A small blonde haired boy ran towards her. "Sorry Mommy," Christopher said.

"Its ok, baby." Rachel smiled at him. She grabbed his hand as they both walked to the gravestone. Rachel stared at it as she blinked back tears.

"Mommy, please don't cry again." Christopher whispered.

Rachel looked down him. He looked just like Paul, her husband. Rachel met him 2 years after Finn had died. He was kind and treated her well. He held her when she cried over Finn and he listened to her problems. He proposed 1 year later. She said yes. They were married in a little chapel in Manhattan. She fell pregnant with Christopher 2 years later. The rest is history. But she never forgot Finn. Ever.

"Mommy just misses her friend, that's all baby." Rachel told him as she kissed his head. "Why don't you go run over there and wait for mommy, ok?" she asked as she pointed towards a small field beside the grave.

Christopher nodded his head eagerly as he ran off. Rachel watched him and smiled. She then turned back around and stared at the gravestone.

_Finn Hudson._

_1995-2013._

_Beloved friend, brother and son._

_"Gone but never forgotten."_

Rachel leaned down and gently placed her hand on Finn's gravestone. She missed him. So much. She closed her eyes as she leaned down to place a kiss on the gravestone. "Finn, if you're listening, please know that I love you so much. I always have and I always will. You were my everything. I miss your smile and your voice and your cute little laugh." She said as she giggled, wiping her eyes. "Don't ever think that I forgot you. I didn't. I never will." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I still have that star certificate you gave me for Christmas on our senior year," she smiled. "Every night, I look up at the sky and I know you're watching over me."

_"It's your own star!" Finn said, smiling at her._

_"You named a star after me?" Rachel asked, flattered. Finn licked his lips and began speaking._

_"Actually, I thought about that," he started, "But then I decided to name it Finn Hudson. Because there is already a star named Rachel Berry and she is right here on earth and she is brighter than any of those stars up there."_

_Rachel smiled at him, tears in her eyes._

_"So, I just wanted to make sure that whenever she feels lonely, she can look up into the sky and, no matter where I am, she can know that I'm looking down on her…. Well when its night-time." He said, smiling._

_Rachel laughed and stared lovingly at him._

She took a deep breath as she slowly bent down and placed fresh flowers on his grave. She quickly looked over at Christopher who was chasing after a small white butterfly. She called him over; telling him it was time to go. She looked at the grave one last time, blew it a kiss and whispered, "I love you, Finn Hudson. Forever and always." She glanced back at it one last time, grabbed her son's hand and walked away.

**This story is complete. It's also my first story so please review and tell me your honest opinion on it. It would mean a lot. - Leanna:)**


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